Due Time

Ai /愛

In due time…
It will be due time,
and though I never wished for her to be due,
time did a number on me and went a few steps forward.
Steps I wasn’t yet ready to take,
but still I pushed myself forward to take on this new responsibility that God had handed me.
…and when they handed me that little piece of me
I couldn’t help but cry because she looked like me.
Like a Williams.
Like me she had my wide nose,
like me she had Ethiopian toes,
like me she was loved more than myself.
I couldn’t help but smile
but smile is less than what I did.
What I did was take myself and make it less so that she could be whole.
So that she could be more than what I am right now.
And though I never thought that I was whole myself,
what…

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Promise

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Ai /愛

Be free —
That’s what I promised to me.
Never live by the boundaries of men,
I belong to no one
so anybody can have me but then
I wonder if it’s true?
Whether or not giving my body
is also giving my soul.
Whether this search to be filled
is really not making me whole
but instead making my heart swollen,
while a multitude of bodies
in my mind are falling naked
in their contorted positions
while their love made faces stare at me —
with a meaningless, faux passion
yet I still can’t seem to ration my temple,
letting any enter to then inevitably leave.
I often wish I could offer some reprieve
for my being.

By Aiden Harmitt-Williams

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Nautilus

There is no escape.

There is no escape 
and I am the one who has trapped myself here. 
I am in too deep, and if I try to crack the shell —
I will die. 
I will drown in the seas that surround me.
Though this ship cuts through the meat under Earth’s skin with ease,
without it I am little more than an insignificant atom
ready to join the congregation of the others 
who had been ceased in the fires of death. 
These narrows halls are filled with a comfort 
all my own because all my own is all I have,
forever alone trapped in this zone beneath the ocean.
My aquatic home away from my home,
never have I let anyone be shown where my lost time has gone. 
Crafting this beast. This prison, this cave
reducing my rights at the same time of increase 
waiving my claims to see the sun 
or to see my son whom I’ve left on the earth of Earth. 
I’ve left behind the notions of who I was capable of becoming,
left it in the rear view of this metal whale 
my guile and cunning for the lifestyle of a recluse
no longer a cannon loose, 
more like the pirate I was supposed to be 
after hanging for hours in the loop of a noose.
Still. Watching this world go by 
fish instead of birds flying in my blue sky lost, 
but found at the bottom. Of the sea. 

In Due Time 

In due time…
It’ll be due time,
and though I never wished for her to be due,
time did a number on me and went a few steps forward.
Steps I wasn’t yet ready to take,
but still I pushed myself forward to take on this new responsibility that God had handed me.
…and when they handed me that little piece of me
I couldn’t help but cry because she looked like me. 
Like a Williams. 
Like me she had my wide nose,
like me she had Ethiopian toes,
like me she was loved more than myself.
I couldn’t help but smile 
but smile is less than what I did.
What I did was take myself and make it less so that she could be whole. 
And though I never thought that I was whole,
what I gave her what was all in my soul.
I hoped that it would be enough to fill her soul. 
If her sole purpose was to fill my soul 
then I would have to thank God for the chance to feel what it is to feel the physical embodiment of my rib. 

The Horns of the Bull

The horns of the bull have manifested themselves within me. 
I fear that soon I shall be completely taken over
if another night of fruitless heat burns like this. 
Steam is emitted from my temple,
as it is ransacked by thoughts of a 
nameless lover,
a thief of emotions and the giver of a throbbing
all over the body until these vibrations act as one,
akin to a convulsion.
But I am a man. 
This lover is no friend of mine. 
Erecting pillars in my home of Pisa,
each piece of me stolen, 
replacing my peace with a piece of her pull. 
Her gravity too strong to ignore
I scratch and scrape along the floor while I’m powerless 
to stop the inevitable swallowing of my soul.
At first I was whole —
then she emptied me of myself,
leaving me with nothing but my now wilted thoughts
thinking to myself what would the courts of heaven say about this. 
Too often my temple is desecrated,
and I am never to rebuild —
for I do not have the will, nor the skill 
to refute her wicked eloquence 
wanting no recompense because I needed relief.
And I received it in full.
Until the next time the show themselves.
The horns of the bull.
  

The Vampire

You left me exposed. 
Naked in the cold streets
laying in my sheets 
after we did what we did that night of the blue moon. 
You left me exposed. 
My guards were up but you pushed aside my forearms
with your soft hands and your eloquent touch
that spoke more than the tongues of 1000 men.
See, it was all just too much. 
You left me scarred, beaten and bloody. 
Scarred where your fingertips dug into my back
which my strength gave you power to pierce.
Beaten by the promises you made 
coaxing me to come from behind my comfortable palisade
and bloody where your eyes broke through the steel of my heart and left it leaking.
Like it didn’t matter. 
Like it wasn’t matter but pixels in a game. 
Like after you’d had your fun I would have no name.
I even gave you pieces of it to fill your own.
You filled your own, took my soul home with you
and left my skin empty.
But I still looked back to you.
I looked back at whatever we had so many times
my empty self was filled with salt.
But every time we kissed you said I was
flavourless. 
Though I noticed that you favoured me less and less every day 
I still try to press my lips against yours to bring back 
some sort of sensation in you,
force you to make another evaluation on what I could be,
of what we could be.
All for naught. 
Manners were taught less than sense it seems
as she took advantage of my weakness
massaging her ego with oils and creams 
I could not afford, selling my soul for another night in her sheets.
I’ll never escape. 
She’s my queen.
So again I willingly let her bite into my nape.